32 weeks and in the hospital (5/8/13)

So very clearly it's been a very long time since I have wrote or updated this blog, I'm honestly not even sure where I left off.
Well i am now 32 weeks and 2 days and I'm in the hospital again. I am having a lot of trouble with my blood pressure and I have all of the severe symptoms of preeclampsia just not protein in my urine yet. I was here for 12 days and got released Monday but surprise surprise here I am again. Our plan is to try to safely keep Liam in until 34 weeks and my dr is optimistic with that unless I get a drastic amount of protein in my urine soon. All I can do is pray that everything is going to be okay but I'm so scared honestly. I don't want Liam to have to be born and rushed to the nicu and fight for his life first thing. I feel broken, honestly broken... My body can't do the ONE thing a woman's body is made to do, carry my child. Sitting up here in this room all alone is really depressing, Caleb can't be here because he has Noah and Noah can't stay long periods of time because well he's 2.5 and gets restless.
My hands are swelling again I can feel them tingling (great feeling) my rings are officially stuck on now and my heads a little throbby. I can do this though as long as I can get through this it'll all feel like a dream in a couple months. I just have to get through it now. But honestly
I'm really feeling down because I miss my son :( I miss him really bad :( I was only home 2 nights and last night my sister in law had to keep him over night so that she could watch him for caleb today while he worked and I knew I shouldn't have let him go :'( and I won't be home for Mother's Day, sure they can come here but people only want to be at the hospital so long... I'm just sad :( I need cheering up and I'm not sure how that's gonna happen :/